Correct communication with people, and in particular with women, given their psychological type, should be built in accordance with certain rules, which are extremely important for observing the successful outcome of such communication. I must note that in this article I do not want to tell you about the ways of flirting, but about the general rules of communication between a man and a woman, which can be applied in a variety of situations, it can be either a business relationship or a personal one. Rather, these rules should even be applied if a man wants to win over a woman, and not push her away. The psychology of men and women has some differences, although there are some psychological aspects that are inherent in both sexes, because if we generalize as people, then it turns out that we have a lot in common, and if we generalize as living beings, like animals, then there will be similarities and even more. Nevertheless, the very differences in the psyche of men and women must be known in order to build the most delicate dialogue, and not use exclusively natural instincts. So in what exactly way should we men communicate with representatives of the opposite sex, so that we would be pleasant to them in such an interesting occupation?
First of all, we must be careful in communicating with a woman, they feel the attention very subtly, especially if you will switch this attention to someone else, and even more so if it will switch to another woman. You should not pay attention to other women, communicating with the one that interests you, first of all, especially if you just met. Be serious and attentive dear men, do not question the exclusivity of your interlocutor, concentrate attention exclusively on her, control yourself. Further, it is very important to give the woman a voice, while attentively listening to her. I understand that some women can talk for hours, and in some cases it will be appropriate to stop her, but in most cases it is better not to do this, not so much time is required for most women to fully state their position. Therefore, listening carefully to her, let her speak, show respect for her, pretend that you are interested in her words, you find them appropriate, interesting, and they even make you think, it certainly depends on what you said.
Sometimes a woman is waiting for your emotions, which must be shown, even if they have not arisen for you, well, this is elementary politeness and a demonstration of understanding, applicable not only to communication with women, but in general with all people. Do not ridicule and condemn a woman, many men do so often, especially if you have a woman who is asking for a similar attitude. Become an exception for her, do not react to her like everyone else, this is already interesting for her, and means that you see in her someone else, not like the others, and in her words, of course. If a woman is dissatisfied with you, or if she expresses her indignation about a situation, complains about something or somehow expresses her emotions, she should not argue and oppose something to this. That is, accept everything that she says and soften her indignation, agree that you say it may be to blame, or pity her, or support her, in general, do not oppose her with anything.
You should not show your masculinity and start arguing, making arguments against what she says, and do not ask the woman to be strong, she is a woman. Agree, regret, reassure and support the woman, in case of manifestation of her emotions, otherwise, if you argue with her, it’s the same as tossing coal into the furnace, from which the flame will flare up even more. So be a soft pillow, not a stone wall, for most cases, this is a more correct response. A woman often loves to convey her emotions to a man in order to induce him to act, while often exaggerating what she is talking about, it is done by her consciously or unconsciously, but quite often. Therefore, if you do not react violently and start up, but assure her that everything will be fine and you solve all the problems, then control of the situation will be in your hands. In this case, the woman will get what she wants, the confidence that you will solve all her problems or just sympathize with her, depending on what she actually wants, expressing her position too emotionally. And on the other hand, you will not be like a chain dog thoughtlessly reacting to her words, mitigating the situation both for her and for yourself.
These are simple, but very important rules for communicating with a woman that men must follow if they want to please a woman, understand her and generally keep control of her dialogue with her. As I said, this applies everywhere without exception, any situation requires from a man, above all, this behavior. Of course, if you want to seduce a woman, and consider your communication with the fair sex aimed only at this, then you need to adhere to a number of rules to achieve this, but about them in the following articles. In this, I want to emphasize another interesting point that you probably noticed. Some methods of communication that have been considered here as methods of communicating with a woman can very well be applied to men. Men also love when they are carefully listening, when they show attention and respect for them, sometimes they just need to talk. And this tells us about the features of human psychology as a whole, only these moments are especially important for a woman, because they appeal to her feminine principle. But about what appeals to the masculine principle, and how a woman should communicate with a man, I will tell you in my next article.
Psychology of communication with girls
If a young man has not mastered the art of communicating with the opposite sex, then he is unlikely to count on the fact that he will be successful with girls or any of his relationships will last happily ever after.
The first step is to establish contact with the person you like. If you do everything right, then after a few minutes of communication the girl will have the impression that you have known each other for a long time and you can be trusted.
Girls are usually quite sensitive and emotional, and to capture her attention, it is not enough just to have conversations with her - it is important to be able to evoke emotions. How to do this the easiest? Of course, with the help of flirting and compliments. During flirting, do not forget to resort to humor, so that communication with you is not stifling, but easy.
Talking to the person who attracted you, let her know that she is really interesting to you, and not just as a friend, but as a potential lover. If sympathy is mutual, then the girl will relax and respond to your efforts. A date should not look like an exchange of information - dilute it with compliments (perhaps with a slight banter), often look into her eyes, smile.
Many guys make the mistake of trying to tell the girls as much about themselves as possible in order to impress them, and at the same time pay little attention to the information that they are trying to convey to them. Noting for himself the "clues" voiced by the interlocutor, the guy can easily build a further conversation with her, asking leading questions on a particular topic.
Also, this method is useful in that the girl sees the interest of the guy and understands that he is listening to what she tells him. Any representative of the fair sex is pleased to know that she is interesting to the young man as a person, and his attention to details will clearly point this out to her. The interlocutor understands that your conversations are not superficial. In this case, you do not need to immediately ask questions as soon as the girl voices any fact - it's not about that at all. You need to remember what she says and ask some questions later.
Also an equally important skill is to provide the girl with details about himself, and not to remain silent. Start interesting topics that she can then develop. So she will feel more comfortable, understanding that she too can prove herself as an attentive and interested interlocutor.
How to approach the girl you like
Many guys approach a girl even worse than starting a conversation with her, and that is why many wonderful acquaintances did not take place in the world. Leave this fear behind so as not to miss your chance. Behave simply and naturally. Some girls are afraid of dating on the street, not wanting to become a victim of a pick-up, therefore, the more elaborate you try to attract her, the more likely it will start to move away. Try to come up and just say: “I’m very afraid that you will refuse, but still I hope that you will say your phone number.” In the first second, the girl may be confused, then you sincerely add: “I really liked you, let's try to talk!”. If you even attracted a little girl, then she will surely give you a phone number. Some girls are embarrassed to dictate their number - in this case, give her your phone and ask her to dial herself, or give her a pen and a diary where she can enter the number. Perhaps this method seems to you too straightforward and imagination offers you many other options. In this case, try to do as your intuition tells you.
What topic to talk about
First of all, find out what the girl’s name is, then later pronouncing her name. Also do not forget to introduce yourself. The point with the pronunciation of her name is very important - many girls like it when a young man calls them by name, this immediately puts them at their disposal. Note that you really like how her name sounds. Find out what it means. If the girl does not know the answer, imagine your option, which she will surely be flattered to hear.
Of course, the first conversation should not include any intimate hints and vulgar topics - this can confuse the interlocutor. Also, there is no need to tell the girl about problems with relatives or difficulties of any other nature - your communication should be easy. Of course, if the girl herself is prone to revelation, and you like it, then in this case you can decide on reciprocity. And yet, do not start such topics first - for many interlocutors, such conversations will seem offensive.
How to behave to interest a girl
The girl will be interested in a guy who knows how to conduct a conversation - this applies both to live communication and to online conversations. If you feel that you have problems with this, then develop all the skills of a good storyteller, taking an example from a more sociable friend or by studying online lessons in this regard. You should have some fascinating stories in stock that you can fill in awkward pauses in the conversation. Topics can be very diverse - your first culinary experience, impressions of a trip and much more. If you understand that you have absolutely nothing to tell, then you are unlikely to interest a girl - make your life richer and more diverse, and then new stories will not keep you waiting.
It is important not only to be a wonderful storyteller, but also to remember another participant in the conversation. This means that you should not reduce all your speeches to yourself - do not forget to give the girl appropriate and preferably not beaten up compliments, listen with interest to what she tells you.
How to talk to a girl if she is silent
If you do your best to talk in silence in the first minutes of your acquaintance, then this will only push you away from you. This girl is probably shy, and in order to begin to reveal herself to the interlocutor, she may need more than one meeting. It is important to understand this, and not to emphasize this. If you like a girl, do not tell her: "You are constantly silent, I don’t know what to talk about with you." She can be closed even more. Show that you are in any case pleasant and comfortable in her company, play “peepers” with her, first ask questions that do not require a detailed answer, subsequently “building up the pace” and touching on broader topics. The main advice in this situation: only an open and sociable person can speak in silence. If you feel that you can not cope, then leave this venture. If the girl is interesting to you, then your work will not be in vain - such silent people, as a rule, are embarrassed only in the company of unfamiliar people, and with relatives they turn out to be quite interesting and deep interlocutors.
Building the right dialogue with the girl
Two of its participants are involved in building the dialogue, and it is important to remember this. Of course, if a girl is silent, and so long as she is embarrassed to open up, it will be right if you mainly will have the conversation. But even in this case, at least occasionally you need to ask her questions. If the girl is not distinguished by increased shyness, then you should not "pull the blanket over yourself", trying to impress the person you like. Some guys are forgotten, and begin a continuous dialogue about their person, forcing the girl to be bored. It often happens that a girl, like, wants to tell something about herself, but first of all, the guy does not let her insert a word or immediately interrupts, again translating the conversation vector onto herself. It is important to learn to be an attentive conversationalist, and not just an excellent storyteller.
Difficulties in communicating with a girl who likes and how to deal with them
Of course, it all depends on what kind of difficulties are in mind. Let's consider some of them.
The girl is ignoring. Despite the fact that you often call her, invite you to dates, arrange surprises, the girl not only does not show much interest in communicating with you, but sometimes even ignores you. In this case, it is inappropriate to take even more initiative. Probably, you either do not like the girl, or she is interested in something else, or she now has problems of a different kind and she is not up to your courtship. In this case, pause for a couple of weeks, and try again to get in touch. If the girl does not show interest in you again, then the pause has to be increased.
The girl agrees to dates, but not to sex. Try to identify the reasons for this behavior. If your relationship has romance, dates, kisses, but the girl is not ready to take the next step, carefully find out from her what this is connected with. You can directly say: “I am very happy with you, I like to spend time with you, but every day I understand that this is not enough for me, and I would like us to get closer. Don't you want the same? ” Already by her answer you will draw conclusions. It may be that the girl is just bored, and in your society periodically kills the cookie or uses you in some way. But this is the worst option. It is possible that she is a virgin, she has different ideas about the speed of approaching pairs, she is confused by something in your behavior, she is not sure of the seriousness of your intentions and the like. A frank conversation will give you more insight into the situation.
The girl does not show initiative. She enthusiastically responds to offers on dates, always answers calls and messages, but she never takes the first steps. Perhaps the girl was brought up with the understanding that a man should always take the initiative, and a woman should take it, and any other model of relationships seems wrong to her. In this situation, ignoring a few days may help. If the girl herself will not call, then you call, and find out why she did not call. She may begin to make excuses for waiting for a call from you. Then invite her to meet and "seriously talk." On a date, explain to the girl that both people build a relationship, and if she remains the same without initiative, then you will have a difficult time.
Smart words for communication that hurt girls
If you want to impress a girl, “hurt her soul”, strike her memory, then it will not hurt you to turn to the work of the classics. Perhaps, from this side, the interlocutor does not expect to know you at all. Take on board a few quotes that you can skillfully use in your conversation. Just do not need to quote statuses, which are in abundance in various groups in VK - if they caught your eye, then, most likely, the girl already read them. Search the Internet for quotes about love, quotes about relationships, quotes about friendship, and so on. Think about what you are likely to talk with the girl, and make the appropriate preparations. In order not to get confused yourself, choose small sayings, but spectacular.
What might it look like? For example: “You know, even though Brodsky said, the house is a place where you are not asked too many questions,” but with us it’s often not at all like that. ” It can be said with a smile and then some story on this subject will follow. In general, think in advance, phrases with which you can effectively “shine”.
How to communicate with a girl so that she falls in love
Take care. Девушки нередко влюбляются в парней, которые проявляют заботу о них и уделяют им внимание. В наше время девушки все чаще жалуются на самовлюбленных мужчин, поэтому заботливый и внимательный представитель мужского пола, несомненно будет выделяться на фоне этих «нарциссов». care can be shown in small things - throw a jacket over her shoulders on her shoulders in cold weather or offer to warm up in a cozy place (for example, in an interesting coffee shop or restaurant). If the girl is sick, send her a bouquet of flowers with a note in which you express hope for her speedy recovery.
Traditional courtship. Many men now fundamentally do not want to pay for a girl in a cafe and other institutions, believing that since both of their participants are interested in the relationship, they should invest equally. By the way, many women have long come to terms with this trend, and they themselves offer to pay for themselves, so as not to be in a stupid position. Nevertheless, such a relationship cannot be called correct. If a girl manages to meet a man who is familiar with traditional courtship (to pay for it in a movie, in a cafe), then she will probably choose him, sincerely admiring this “chivalrous” behavior. It would not occur to a sensible man to call a woman mercantile for this — he himself is humiliated by a situation where he cannot pay coffee to his lady. Even if your girlfriend easily and without question pays everything on an equal footing with you, then be sure that this situation subconsciously is unpleasant for her. In response to the traditional courtship of a man, a girl usually gives no less (and in a monetary sense, too!) In the form of surprises, gifts, romantic dinners - for a man who is afraid to spend an extra ruble on her, she herself will try with less enthusiasm.
Compliments. Some representatives of the fair sex periodically complain to friends about the inattention of a partner - this leads to a cooling of feelings. When a guy is attentive, it acts in the opposite direction. If a girl bought a new dress, then she certainly wants to hear that it suits her very much, and she looks gorgeous in it. If she went to the hairdresser, then tell her that she has very soft and shiny hair. The girl, who is engaged in the gym for several hours a week, will be glad to hear that she has an amazing figure. Notice any changes in the appearance of the chosen one, and mark them. There is an opinion that the more attention we pay to someone, the more active is the interest on the part of this person. You can check it out in practice!
I don’t know how to communicate with girls what to do
Pickup trainings. Many believe that such trainings primarily teach how to "breed a girl for sex." In fact, this is not at all paramount. you will not achieve any intimacy if you do not learn to communicate with the opposite sex. That is why it is more correct to say that, first of all, at such trainings they teach precisely the art of communicating with girls. Of course, then you already use the acquired skills in the way you want.
If you don’t have the opportunity to personally attend such trainings, then you may be interested in online courses - you will most likely need to easily find on the Web, guided by your favorite reviews. You can also read for free some of the recommendations that pickup gurus share in various videos.
It is possible that you have a friend who can easily start a conversation with almost any girl and interest her. Observe it from the side, draw conclusions for yourself. If it is a close friend, then frankly ask him to point out your mistakes and give any recommendations.
The main mistakes when communicating with girls
1. Excessive flattery
After reading the advice that girls love compliments, you can start to “fill up” the girl with delighted speeches, which in the end can only push her away. Compliments should be used dosed, especially if you are not already in a close relationship. Otherwise, the girl will feel insincerity and decide that you apparently behave like that with everyone.
It so happened that girls are more accustomed to self-confident man - very few people prefer shy or reserved young people. If you have a goal to please a girl, then try to gain confidence in yourself.
3. Monotony and lack of initiative
Your meetings are of the same type, you walk along the same routes. If some changes appear in the usual routine, then usually a girl initiates them. Many people can gradually get bored with such monotony to such an extent that she will begin to avoid meetings.
4. Memories of ex-girls
If in the company of a current or potential girl, you periodically recall the former sweetheart, without suggestive questions from the interlocutor, then in the end this can push you away from you. She will decide that you are just stuck in the past.
Some young people like to embellish, or even invent their own achievements, colorfully painting them in front of the interlocutor. Most often, it is immediately obvious to the girl that the guy is either very narcissistic or loves to embellish information about himself - neither the first nor the second option delights the girls. It becomes especially unpleasant when the guy himself pierces his lies or the truth comes up by accident.
6. Tactlessness and obscene words
Demonstrating your rudeness or regularly expressing obscene thoughts, you might think that you look cool in the eyes of girls, but the vast majority do not like it at all. Moreover, if a girl knows that in life you often allow yourself a mate, but with it you restrain yourself, then most likely this will be a big plus for you on her part.
In conversations with you, it somehow turns out that very often you are unhappy with someone, angry at someone, you see injustice in something. The more negativity that comes from you, the more the girl will have a desire to distance herself from this.
You do not remember many of her words, and in your subsequent conversations this becomes obvious. During a conversation, you are often distracted by phone calls, write someone sms, check social networks. Perhaps this way you are trying to show her your relevance. All the described manipulations clearly indicate to the girl that you are not too interested in talking with her, and at the moment there are things that seem more important to you. This will not add you points in her eyes.